How Tech Really Happens

Mike Cassidy and I were chatting about the difficulties of getting away from work. Most people like to go home and really forget about work, but that's not how it is in the startup world. In startups, you're always having new ideas and working on new projects and companies. It is the driving force for change, and once you're hooked, that is it.

Ever since Berkeley (and before, since I was working while still at school) it's always been work everywhere. My kids are used to it. They wanted me to take them to the library today, but I said "Not until you take all the Celestron scopes out of the car and reassemble them, and don't drop them", and they did, and we did. The nice thing about working on startups when you're a mom is that you can set your own schedule, and be around the kids when they need you, and work at off times when most of the tech work really happens.

Part of doing things like 386BSD and the TV quality reliable wireless video streaming work using some of my patents and the current work in multimedia for business and massive video production with Berkeley is that it all fell out of startup mode and working the schedules.

When we were doing 386BSD Release 1.0 for Dr. Dobbs in 1994, we worked in the living room (I was pregnant with Rebecca at the time) of our very tiny Victorian house. We'd work from 8am to about 11pm, coding, testing, and writing the books (if you're doing the code, it's a lot easier to write the book).

But we'd always break to walk Sarah to/from elementary school, Ben off to morning playgroup at Rosemary's house, afternoon walks (we lived in Rockridge in Berkeley so it was walking everywhere, not driving), and weekend long walks in Tilden Park after the pony and train rides. At around 4pm on weekdays we'd always stop and sit with the kids and watch Animaniacs with them, followed by dinner. You can't do this if you're working for IBM.

But it seems that you can't do this for a lot of startups nowadays either - not because they don't keep odd hours or go off to the beach for the day, but because there is a decided accepted - required - hostility towards working men and women who have families from both entrepreneurs and investors. It's almost if they don't "own you" body and soul, they don't want you - and for most people, particularly women, their bodies and souls are not usually for sale.

Call it what you will, but as someone who's experienced in the startup game I find the unreasoning demands of first-time entrepreneurs that everyone be present at all hours without looking at productivity, business goals, and the bottom line somewhat silly and narcissistic, as if they lack the confidence to run a real business. But if you bring your life into the business, it's considered unprofessional regardless of your work and character.

And that's why a lot of professional women have left industry.