Bells are Ringing - Please Don't Arrest the Bellringer

Is everyone getting tired of the "stress" excuse. You know, the "I can't make the meeting because I'm stressed out" or "I didn't finish the project because I'm too stressed" or "I forgot to take out the scapel after removing your appendix because of stress"... And all you're really hearing is "I don't want to do anything for anybody, so I'll say I'm stressed and act pathetic and you'll let me off the hook so I can go to Starbucks and gorge on mochas and pretend I'm working when I'm really looking at porn on the web".

First we had during our "season of sharing" Christmas stores refusing to allow Salvation Army Bell Ringers (you know, they stand with a kettle and ring a bell for the poor) to stand on their properties because they present "too much stress" to their customers! Even the bell was too disturbing, because it rings and they hear it and look at the silent ringer and the kettle for the poor and that makes them feel bad because they don't want to give the poor anything. And customers who are ashamed of themselves aren't gluttonous store customers, right?

Now, doing it one better (and who wouldn't), it's "stomp on a Girl Scout" time, in which CW Nevius voices the complaint of the Silicon Valley upper-middle-class whiner who is standing up and refusing to talk to little girls in uniforms about whether they'd like to eat a thin mint or shortbread cookie because they are just "too stressed". Aren't we all just wracked with compassion for these pathetic souls?

Oh, the pain, the pain. CW Nevius has tapped into a wellspring of self-absorption that is truly staggering in its banality and pettiness. And he's proud of it too - according to him, "But I have to say the majority agreed with the premise" that Girl Scouts are evil instigators of stress and it's basically a little girl's fault that some overpaid executive or underworked columnist is unhappy instead of relaxed and sipping a Mai Tai on the beach at Honolulu. For shame!

Will this insanity never end?

Oh, there are the other excuses thought up by supposedly college educated people who never show any industry and ingenuity except when they need to excuse their own lack of spirit and generosity. There's the "I don't know if this kid lives in my neighborhood" whine (like, it matters anyway - they're all Girl Scouts and part of the Girl Scouts of America), or the "I don't have enough money at the office to buy a candybar" snivel (wow, maybe you should think about quitting those 5 buck mochas at the local Starbucks if you can't handle a box of cookies), or even the "I don't know if their organization supports all of my special causes like freedom for ferrets" disingenous complaint (completely ignoring the fact that the monies are for the big picture things like girls education locally).

So what's driving this incredibly narrow and mean rant, aside from the fact that it's easy for big fat adults to kick little girls. Well, it has nothing to do with only buying from a local kid. No one knows the kids in the neighborhood anymore. That's a lie.

It has nothing to do with people competing at the office for selling. Given the greedy way folks consume in offices anything in sight, another box of cookies or chocolate bar is just great - gobble it down and don't count it in your diet. That never changes. That's a lie.

What's the problem? Simple - they don't want to give a dime to anyone else who might be able to do something good with it. They want to be miserly and hoard every bit of good will. They don't want to buy from the neighborhood kids because that kid might actually be doing good things for folks - they'd rather spend hundreds of dollars gobbling down cookies from the grocery store, because then no one gets anything out of it but them.

Greedy. Yep. Miserly. Absolutely. Morally and ethically bankrupt. Sure looks that way.

But they're embarrassed - that's why the "furtive" glances as they lie through their teeth.

Yes, they're stressed - turning away a girl scout dedicated to building a better tomorrow when they resent hope and optimism is "stressful". Walking by the kettle and being reminded that compassion is absent from their pathetic little life is also "stressful". Should we feel sorry for such creatures?

And that's why they got rid of the kettles - it made them feel bad when they didn't toss in a quarter for the poor. Why, that might mean one less mini-Hershey bar!

Call it for what it is - they're not embarrassed by being bad, but when the girl scout comes to the door or the bell rings at the kettle, they sure are embarrassed by being shown to be bad.